Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Chutney Begone!

I’d like to take this opportunity to speak on an issue about which I feel strongly.

Fruit and meat.

Evil together.

Yes, all meat. Even chicken and turkey and that tricky “other white meat,” pork.

Turkey sandwiches with cranberry relish? Blech. I know, oooh, pork and apples, I’m missing out. But I don’t like it. Not one bit. Fruit is for breakfast, with cereal. For snacktime, with cheese. As a supplement to a sad and meager lunch. And, most of all, for dessert with, yes, perhaps a bit more cheese.

I don’t mean to offend. I have no greater moral or philosophical objection to the pairing of meats and fruits. I think it sounds like a really flavorful and healthy meal, I just don’t like it.

I do make a few exceptions. First, fruits in disguise, such as the tomato. If nobody really believes it is a fruit in the first place, then I grant it vegetable status. Second, melon and prosciutto. Third, citrus. Lemon chicken? Delicious.

But then, on the flip side, there are those things that aren’t fruits, but taste like fruits. Also evil! This includes sweet potatoes, yams, and any of their nasty kin.

Beware! The holiday season is especially hazardous. Meat + fruit can creep up on you unexpectedly in the form of pot pie, “festive” sandwiches, ham with pineapples (why?), and hodgepodges of leftovers. Only through careful scrutiny and perseverance (and feigned allergies, if necessary) can you avoid the scourge that is meaty fruit/fruity meat during this season. Good luck!

3 Comments:

Blogger Kalyn said...

I am pretty much with you on this anti fruit+meat stance. In general it's a bad policy.

10:15 PM  
Anonymous Jeff said...

Now I'm scared what to expect for Thanksgiving!

I'm a convert, though (please don't hate me!) Joe over at Culinary in the Desert has made some pretty awesome fruit/mean combos, that we never would have even tried just a few years ago.

But I am not trying to convert anyone *looks innocent*

But yams and all their kin-folk? The devil. Trying to sneak their way into mainstream....not on my watch! :)

10:25 PM  
Blogger s'kat said...

You know, my husband would be in full agreement with you. Hates with a passion almost any sweet-and-savoury combination.

A notable exception being oriental-style dishes such as Kung Pao Chicken. Then again, those aren't terribly sweet...

I'll admit to being a big fun of fruit and meat, and an even bigger fan of sweet potatoes.

In fact-

*dramatic pause*

-I eat half a sweet potato for breakfast every day once the weather turns cold!

Happy holidays!

8:55 AM  

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